Pre-Ceremony Moments: All the ways you can see (or not see) each other before “I Do”

One of the biggest myths in wedding planning is that there are only two options before the ceremony:

• Do a first look

• Wait until the aisle

In reality? You have so many more choices — and the best one is the one that feels right for you.

Pre-ceremony moments aren’t about rules or tradition. They’re about giving yourselves the kind of emotional space you want before the day really begins.

Here are the most common (and most loved) options that my couples have chosen.

First Look (Seeing Each Other Before the Ceremony)

This is a more modern option.

You see each other privately before the ceremony, usually dressed and fully ready. It’s emotional, grounding, and gives you a quiet moment together before the chaos begins.

Great if you want:

• A calm, private moment

• To shake off nerves

• More flexibility in your timeline

• Portraits done earlier in the day

First looks don’t make the ceremony less emotional — they just change where that emotion happens.

First Touch (Around a Corner or Doorway)

This is one of my favorite middle-ground options.

You don’t see each other, but you hold hands around a corner, door, or wall. You can talk, laugh, cry, or just breathe together — without breaking tradition.

Great if you want:

• A grounding moment before the ceremony

• To keep the first look at the ceremony

• Emotional connection without seeing each other

It’s intimate, meaningful, and honestly very underrated.

Private Vows (Without Seeing Each Other)

Yes — this is a thing, and couples love it.

You read vows or letters back-to-back or separated by a door, corner, or wall. You hear each other’s voices without seeing each other.

Great if you want:

• Emotional intimacy

• To keep the ceremony reveal

• A moment that’s just yours

It’s powerful, grounding, and still keeps the magic of the aisle moment.

Private Vows (Seeing Each Other)

Some couples choose to share vows privately before the ceremony, either during a first look or in a quiet space together.

This allows you to:

• Speak freely without an audience

• Be fully present

• Keep the ceremony shorter or more traditional

Great if you want:

• A deeply personal moment

• Less pressure during the ceremony

• Both privacy and connection

Ceremony First Look (Traditional Aisle Reveal)

This is the most traditional option — and it’s still incredibly special.

The first time you see each other is when one of you walks down the aisle. That moment hits hard, every single time.

Great if you want:

• A classic wedding experience

• The build-up and anticipation

• A strong emotional ceremony moment

Tradition is optional — but if you love it, it’s valid.

Other Pre-Ceremony Options Couples Love

There’s no rulebook here, but some couples also choose:

• Reading letters separately before the ceremony

• Prayer or meditation moments apart

• A quiet check-in without vows or touching

• Seeing each other briefly without photos

If you want a moment — but don’t know exactly what kind — we can create one that fits.

The Bottom Line

You don’t have to choose between:

• Tradition or connection

• Privacy or emotion

• Calm or excitement

You can mix and match.

✨ Photographer perspective: The best pre-ceremony moments are the ones that feel intentional — not forced.

Whether you want to see each other, not see each other, or just hold hands and breathe for a second… it’s all doable.

Your wedding day gets to feel like you.

If you’re also figuring out your timeline, this ties closely into how you plan your day — I talk more about that in my blog Wedding Timeline Tips From a Photographer.